


In Your End-o

by Kasuchi



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Double Entendre, F/M, Friendship, Innuendo, Porn Battle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-01
Updated: 2009-02-01
Packaged: 2017-12-27 18:43:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/982300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasuchi/pseuds/Kasuchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That's what she said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Your End-o

**Author's Note:**

> For **oxoniensis** 's Porn Battle VII. Original [here](http://oxoniensis.livejournal.com/395384.html?thread=23798648#t23798648).
> 
> 1\. Prompts: laugh, double entendre

Occasionally, the five of them will talk about their days. Barney, while never really clarifying what it is that he does, usually shares _something_.

"So, Barney, how was work today?"

He grinned and placed his drink down on the table. "Work?"

Ted rolled his eyes. "Yes, that place that you go to most days of the week? Where they pay you to do...whatever it is that you do?"

"Right, right." A hand dropped down below the table's surface and skittered onto her thigh. She nearly spat out her drink (she hadn't expected that) but she managed to keep her cool and let him leave it there.

"Well?"

"Work was...hard." He appeared contemplative, but his hand was massaging circles on the inside of her thigh, alternating between that and long strokes along the length of it. "Really hard. Today."

"How so?"

"Oh, a lot of frustrating things. You know how it is?"

"Anything in particular?"

"Well, my load was _really_ big today. A lot of assignments came down on me this morning, so I had to keep performing well." The fingers moved higher, the tips just shy of her sex. She shifted slightly, and he pushed his hand right up against her fly. And let his hand rest there.

"Did you manage?"

"It was a little overwhelming at first, but once I got into the rhythm of it, the rest just came naturally. I did have to get really hands-on with one project, though. Required an oral training session." His fingers flexed, causing her zipper to rub against her.

"That must have been a real challenge."

"Yes, well, no one can ever say I don't measure up." He cracked a smile and picked up the beer bottle to take a drink again. Meanwhile, his fingers rubbed circles for a few moments longer before retreating back to his lap.

She made a small sound of protest.

"What?" He was all innocence and sunshine. She wasn't buying it.

She glared at him. "You couldn't be more vague, could you?"

"Hey, that's more than you've gotten in a while."

Her glare sharpened. "Not true. You've been more generous lately with regards to work."

"Have I? Maybe you've just been more receptive lately."

She shook her head. "I don't think so. You're just being a tease about work so that you can lord it over us."

"But you've always been satisfied in the past. Maybe I'll talk about work more later tonight."

"Or you could just do it now."

"If I did it now, then all the anticipation would be lost." He rolled his eyes. "Why are you so impatient, anyway?"

"I'm not impatient - I'm frustrated."

"We can see that," chimed Lily.

Robin suddenly remembered that there were three other people at the table with her and Barney. "Uh. So, Marshall, what legal battle did you fend off today?"

While Marshall mentioned the Chinese lead-paint-in-toys suit that he briefed, the heel of Barney's hand ground against her clit through the denim. She squirmed again before leaping up. "I'm going to the bathroom. Be right back." She strode away quickly, heels clacking on the floor in time to her heartbeat. When she was in the corridor to the ladies' room, she sighed and leaned against the wall, head tilted back and eyes closed.

She felt fingers curling against her hip and tilted her head back down. Barney looked down at her, blue eyes alight with mischief.

"You!" She smacked him in the arm.

"Me," he replied simply, pulling her into the ladies room. Locking the door behind him, he turned around and kissed her soundly.

"I almost burst into giggles. That was awesome! Well-played, sir."

He leveled a smirk at her. "Scherbatsky, I always know how to make you laugh." Then, he made a sort of hat-tipping gesture. "But, thank you. You weren't half bad yourself - nice use of _frustrated_." He held up a hand for a high-five.

"I learned from a master," she returned, laughing. Slapping his palm, she maneuvered both their hands together to unbutton her jeans.


End file.
